Super bowl weekend 2012. Giants! Really?!?

Mike had a few buddies come from New Jersey to visit him this weekend. They brought us Patron Anejo (so yum) and shared a lot of laughter. They shared stories of BS (before Sara). I recall something about past girlfriends, parties and the "rare but you didn't hear it from me" trouble with the law. I married such a bad boy!!! How did that happen?

I realize that If it wasn't for Mike I wouldn't know a few of the following very important things: Who Sloth is and why he wants a Baabbby Ruth; that it's correctly called "Chocolate Milk", not "Milk Chocolate" (I've been correct about a lot of other words / phrases over the years too); that you have to go north then south to get to New Jersey (any sense of direction [little it may be] that I have is all because of Mike); that the Jersey Shore is hands down better then Maryland's beaches; that real gravy is made with salt not sugar; that the Slim Jim Factory burnt down and they don't make "Hot Slim Jim's" anymore (I seriously know to much about Slim Jim's); that playing cards or any game for that matter and winning is as important as life and death; the list goes on and on…

What wouldn't you know if it wasn't for Mike?

Check out the hunk on the left!

Where has the time gone??

Well everyone it was a fast summer and an even faster November. Are we really half way thru December already? Yeeshh. After what may have been the most hectic and stressful year of our lives (so far) we made it through…again. This time last year, Mike was in a hospital because some kids thought they had something to prove. How's that for where has the time gone?? Yes, it's true that "through these trials we are trying hard to make ourselves complete".

October hit like a bullet: We had a wonderful 10 year anniversary party and we were happy to put things aside to celebrate such a happy occasion; my brother and his wife visited for a month from the Dominican Republic they were good company and we had a lot of fun with them; the CO visit was encouraging and food at the right time; and we also had an on-slot of paper work to fill out and packing to do (we finally got a buyer for our house). Somewhere in October there was a yard sale and I seem to remember snow?!

10 Year Anniversary Party!



November was mostly a blur: What I do remember is that we finally moved from our house on November 12th. We had 26 wonderful friends and family help us move back to Kennett. Moving back to Kennett was a very hard decision for us to make because I would be commuting back and forth to NJ again, we would be leaving friends in NJ and our congregation and we also felt a loss of independence. It was however the best decision we have made!! We have support 24/7 and essentially our own perfect little apartment (thanks to my Dad's hard work within just two short weeks) with a kitchen and living room which lets us keep a sense of independence. It is HOME!

Kitchen:


Living Room:





And finally we sold our house: Closing was suppose to be the 18th, then the 30th, then the 29th and finally on the 28th all was done and we were no longer home owners. I cried all the way home from the closing but not out of sadness…it was out of pure relief! No more paperwork, no more showings, no more…no more…no more. I quickly deleted all my utility bills and mortgage payment reminders from my calendar. Ahhh, a weight lifted. I do miss my house occasionally but I can happily reflect back on the 4 years we lived there and remember that it was something we did, on our own, even if for just a little while.

Mike: Unless he starts a new trial I will no longer be providing health updates. I will use this blog to journal stories of the laughter and love that we as family and friends share. It's a time to be encouraging, upbuilding and live outside of the cancer walls as much as possible. None of us can know what Mike is going through or what he is feeling but we do know that our laughter and love can make him enjoy life. When I reflect on that sentiment I feel empowered to be stronger myself. I know that sometimes he feels tired and I understand that, but even in his weakest moments he is so much stronger then me. He is a great example of courage and love to all those around him.

Lastly to our dear friends and family, I'm sending you a cyber hug (tight squeezzzeee) and thank you for your support whether it be through prayer, visits, calls or cards we love you all and without you we couldn't have made it through 2011. So as they say "Bring on the new year!". 2012 - may it be slower then the last!


Enjoy pictures of our new home and visit soon :)

The Results are In...

As of today, Mike stops his chemo trial of Pazopanib because his tumors grew over the 25% aloud for the trial. Meaning that his cancer was not responsive to the Chemotherapy.

The Doctor suggested another trial for a Hedgehog Inhibitor. I'm researching this information and like other's it seems noninvasive.

Time will tell what the next step is.

Hair Baby!

While Mike and I were pondering the possibility of this Chemo treatment working I was caught ogling over his white hair. My cutie the Swedish model :)

With this Chemo Mike has lost all pigmentation. His hair is completely white (eyelashes and all) and bonus…if this Chemo cures Mike's cancer it might just cure his receding hair line. That's right! He's got new follicles in places were the Chemo from '05 took it away.

Weight-Loss vs. Sara

I ran across another caregivers blogg (Deb http://www.myhusbandskindneycancer.com/) today that mimicked my exact sentiments. As I've mentioned Mike has lost a lot of weight in the past six months. He is now down from 186 to 143 and looking frail to say the least. It's been very difficult to watch him loose so much weight and I'm sure even harder on Mike. I couldn't have said or written it better then Deb "As caregiver, I instantly felt responsible for his weight loss, as I continually blamed myself for maybe not cooking the right meals or offering the nutritious snacks that I should have." And although I know that anyone who knows Mike can understand that he is, well, can be stubborn. He's never been a big eater but he has always been picky as to what he does eat.

I feel bad for Mike too. I know he doesn't want this, and I'm sure he would rather be the picture of health.

It's mostly difficult being repetitive. You start to feel more like a mother then a wife. "Did you drink your ensure? What did you eat for lunch? Can I get you something? Craving anything?" Honestly Mikes got enough Mother's. And as much as I hate bugging Mike about eating, I know he hates me getting on him about it. Over and over again!

The resolution:

Notes on the fridge that will read: Hey handsome! Feeling smoothie today?; Baby, Got the munchies this morning?; If your belly's misbehaving stop and fill that cravin!; You en sure lookin good today!

Submit yours and I'll post them around the house too. It can be about anything that might make Mike chuckle...

That's my solution. I'll let you know how it works out ;)

Vitamin D + Friends = Fun

Blaine, Mikey, Eric, Bear and Mike

Who could resist a trip down this shore this weekend?!? With low humidity and temperatures at a comfortable 86 degrees we packed our bags, took the doors off the jeep and headed to the shore. Because of traffic it took us about an hour-and-half to get there. We went to Margate because I was insistent on not paying for parking. No good that did me because I ended up paying a 10.00 beach tag fee. So bogus...all the guys got away without paying because they were in the water. How convenient, right? We had pizza on the beach. Something I've never done but always wanted too. It sure beats packing sandwiches for 5 guys. I can't say enough about how wonderful the weather was. The breeze off the ocean was so refreshing. The water wasn't bad either...but it was no OBX :) Mike was exhausted on Sunday from the day's activities but he had so much fun Saturday he thought is was well worth it.

A little rest does the body good...

Happily. Nervously. Anxiously. Mike stopped working last week. He went out on disability. Work has been more then accommodating. And although I miss him terribly at work I am very happy that he is getting some much deserved rest. I will also admit it's nice to see him (and his eyes) semi-energetic when I got home. Last night we had a nice meal, we ate at the kitchen table, cleaned up dinner together and he wasn't completely exhausted. That made me feel good. happy. not so anxious.

It will be a hard few months financially (which explains the anxiousness) so I guess that means I have to cut back on all the bottles of wine. Ha - NOT! When I look at the big picture none of it matters. I see Mike happier, and less exhausted...that's what is really important. So for now, I'm pocketing my anxiousness and replacing it with happiness. After all time is money, right?

***This is an addendum to an older post: If you haven't figured it out...Mike and I will not be pioneering together this September. To many things have NOT come together. However long it took me to write that update - I'm sorry. It was a hard pill to swallow. Now realizing it's for the better and was an unattainable goal - I can happily say that our goal is to do the best we can, maybe start a bible study - that's keeping it simple and attainable!***